Friday, 6 April 2012

Forty Three

I will be turning 43 on April 10.  Please save your well-wishing.  Within a week of turning 40 everything started going down hill.  My already grey hair turned greyer; I would physically injure myself doing the most trivial of tasks, like stepping off a curb, and I take much longer to heal.  I started having more "senior moments" where I would forget what I just did more "senior moments" where I would forget what I just did just did (a joke - not sloppy editing).  I seemed to have aged dramatically over night.

Now, I am on the threshold of 43 and things aren't getting any easier:

  • I'm at the age where I have to start worrying about my prostate, which reminds me that I have to find a doctor with smaller fingers;
  • I have cholesterol issues that my doctor has given me until the beginning of June to address through lifestyle changes;
  • Speaking of doctors, when did they all become so young?
  • When I get up from sitting, my bones crack like someone's letting loose with automatic gun fire. 
  • People are calling me "Mister" and, worse, "Sir"; 
  • I need bifocals, maybe even trifocals; 
  • I now drive a minivan, or as I now like to call it, a swagger wagon; 
  • I ache all the time;
  • Tweed is suddenly an appealing fashion choice;
  • Elderly widows look at me like so much fresh meat.
Whoever said 40 is the new 30 must be tripping out on acid.  Anyway, I guess I'll skate through middle age with my head up. 


  1. 40 is the new 30! Happy birthday in advance!


  2. I just hit 40. It is not the new 30. I nearly spit my Coke 0 out when I read doctors with smaller fingers.

  3. i have the memory thing going on, too.... so irritating!

  4. I'm only 35 and I can already relate to a lot of this list.

    Except that whole prostate thing.